Baaaaaaaby. I was juuuust thinking about how much I’ve been missing you lately! MSN date soooon?
I’m sure you are, Narcissa. You are one classy lady. That Caitlin on the other hand…
It’s not even real, but ughhh, who the fuck writes this shit in the first place? Siiiick minds.
Inspired by Lauren Leto’s “Stereotyping People By Their Favorite Author,” we realized the incredible potential for a mercilessly judgmental list of indie band stereotypes. It is a common fact that Cormac McCarthy readers are men who don’t eat cream cheese, but what about those who listen to The XX on repeat and The Flaming Lips on hallucinogens? They need labels, too. After the jump, in collaboration with contributor Jeff Luppino-Esposito, we lay down the reckless assumptions.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Girls who bought checkered sneakers in the 8th grade.
Hopelessly patchy beard growers.
People who think that world hunger could be assuaged with four part harmonies.
Girls who purchase a guitar, buy flannel from the Salvation Army, wear glasses that they don’t actually need, and still can’t get the guy.
Vampire Weekend (dying)
Bros who try to make out with girls at concerts by relating to them via old Nickelodeon shows. “Remember Pete & Pete??”
Death Cab for Cutie
Girls who quote lyrics as their Facebook status.
Premature alts who considered Garden State a life-altering viewing experience.
Tegan & Sara
Lesbians and guys who firmly believe that when there are two girls on stage together, there is a 63% chance of them making out.
maybe i’m just easily amused, but this is killing me.
Blipsters who still wear neon shoes and smoke pot.
Bitches who think it’s okay to scratch guys who misbehave. And the boys who buy them soy lattes.
Pre-Congratulations: 81% of College Freshmen. Post-Congratulations: Guys who consider the ability to store 13 pencils in their hair to be an evolutionary advantage.
are my favorites. Dying.